tmr last day at domeUOB. okay, that's not the point. the point is that. i came to realise God's love thru my colleagues and working place. thou some are not christians, they smoke, they scold vulgarities like u say Hi everyday and blah~ BUT!
there is one man that caught my respect. and that's my manager , Gary. everyday he appear in work faithfully, at this branch, for the past 15 years. rain or shine, sickness or not, he's there. during the day, no matter rush hour or not, he's ever calm, nothing could make him raise his voice. no matter what, he start off with a "can u please" and end off with a "thank you". althou a manager , and a very senior one, he lower himself to a worker lvl, to clear plates, cook, wash dirty plates. even as the asst manager(May) order him around, he bear no grudges and continue to work. trying to help May, he was brushed away, saying that he is blocking the way. he even said SORRY, and then helped her do other things, so that she will not be overloaded! even when customers blasting at his ears, with workers not alert enuf, he stay calm, stays loving. wow. he surely did earned our respect as our "papa gary", "daddy", "father","dear mr tham".
come to think of it. isnt God like this towards to? He shield us when ppl throw words at us. He beared everything so that we will be spared. He stayed calm and in control althou things seemed to be spinning out of control rain or shine, no matter it is raining cats and dogs or cheetahs, He's there. faithfully and strong. althou we may push him away thinking that He is in our way, He does not complain, but yet cont to help us, underloading us, so that we will not be strained. we may not be doing things up to His standard, but no worries, He stil love us still. cos He's my dear Daddy.
what do we take God as? a servant to be ordered around? a friend who we call on only when we are free? a genie in a lamp? or a father who love us for who we are? someone unseen yet we put our trust in?
my prayer today for myself.. is to build this r/s with God, to stay faithful and steadfast. He never failed to remind me of the love we have. conscious of this, i don wan to disappoint Him. most imptly, i want to love Him.
10:18 PM { and i opened my heart(:
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
God never fail to bless His faithful kids. just when things are going low for me, with 2 more days to 28SEP( a kind -of big day for all working ppl), my grandma suddenly gave me money. just for no reason. she said she felt like giving me. and if this is not enuf, she chose to give me only, out of her 28 grandchildren and 9 children, not to mention a uber duper extended branch of daughter/son-in lawS. amazed but not shocked. what for. i knew my God never fails to surprise. thank You Daddy. and also, big hug ah ma(: weee(:
don say you know you know but then ended up you dono wad to do. or lagi best, don say i know i know and ended up not even gg to do what u are to do. know it , do it. dono it, ask it, know it, do it.
i'll miss domeUOB(:
8:36 PM { and i opened my heart(:
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Come Home Running Chris Tomlin
Oh heart of mine, why must you stray? From one so fair you run awa yAnd one more time you have to pay The heaviness of needless shame
Oh heart of mine, come back home You've been too long out on your own And He's been there all along Watching for you down the road
So come home running His arms are open wide His name is Jesus He understands He is the answer You are looking for So come home running Just as you are
Oh child of God so dearly loved And ransomed by the Savior's blood And called by name, "daughter" and "son" Wrapped in the robe of righteousness
RUNback home, to WALK with Him.
with this faith i walked to Daddy, holding out my pains. pains that i kept to myself for a long long time i risked placing them in Man and true enough, Man failed me. tis betrayal from Man, i placed it on God too. thinking that Man are from God, thus what Man are, God is. but NO! God is the creator, not the created. God is the potter, not the clay. God is the Father, not the child. what Man is, might not be what God is cos Man had sins. but yet what God is, what Jesus is, is ultimately what we as Man shud be like. i wan to be like Jesus, i'm a little Jesus. a special kind of faith, not the normal kind. a childlike faith.
11:50 PM { and i opened my heart(:
My friend, I stand in judgment now and feel that you are to blame somehow. While on this earth, I walked with you day by day, and never did you point the way. You knew the Lord in truth and glory, but never did you tell the story. My knowledge then was very dim, you could have led me safe to Him. Though we live together here on earth, you never told me of your second birth. And now I stand this day condemned, because you failed to mention Him. You taught me many things, that's true. I called you a friend and trusted you. But now I've learnt, now too late. You could have kept me from this fate. We walked by day and talked by night, yet you showed me not the light. You let me live, love and die and all the while you knew, I could never live on high. Yes, I called you friend in life. and trusted you in joy and strife. yet in coming to this end, I see you really weren't my friend. don wait til this happen. do sth today!
some outlandish comments: What De Jesus is doing at more than 300 centers in Central and South America, Cuba and the U.S. is preaching a message of "freedom to indulge" because according to this modern messiah, there is no sin, no devil and no hell to pay.
and even.. His mother, Regina Albarracin said, "You think he's Jesus Christ? No he’s the devil. You think he's the devil? Yes that's him."
one of the many promises that God had given to us in the Bible. He had been there,is there now, and will always be there for us.
JEREMIAH 29:10-14 10 This is what the LORD says: "When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will come to you and fulfill my gracious promise to bring you back to this place. 11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back from captivity. [b] I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile."
seeking Him with all your heart. countless people had complained of not finding God when they tried to find Him. but had tey really seeked Him with their heart? [note to self] it's seeking with the heart. not the eye. it's time to stop poking my tiny telescope unto His little toe. ask Him instead.
9:03 PM { and i opened my heart(:
we are acts four, spurring one another to greater heights.
came across xben and alvin's blog. this awesome pair of brothers that we have in acts4. they added joy to all, their laughters and "bu yao wan la!"s( from little alvin).
talking bout alvin's blog. u cant believe that it is written by a primary 6 boy. the lvl of trust, the lvl of maturity seen in him, awesome. learning to seek from God, asking Him for solutions when he is down, even i don not dare to say that i will do so everytime i face a problem. yet alvin, 12 years old, he did so. and he obeyed God when he heard Him. his reaction is as natural as one needs food to survive.
a direct extract: "He said tat juz go.Then i go lor.I dun wan to let the devil to b happy n i wanna let God b happy. So i went."
so i go lor. it was plainly, God said so, so i listened. awesome boy.
jumping from alvin's to xben's blog. lvl of maturity, made me want to have a brother like him. despite himself being pressurized under Nlvls and parents objections, ( and mind you, being the oldest meant all pressures are on u), he persist on, trusting God, holding and leading his two brothers on, letting them stand firm for their faith. encouraging and spurring.
a direct extract :so i told myself and my two brothers STUDY HARD FOR OUR EXAMS SO THAT WE WILL BE ABLE TO ( GO FOR ) CHURCH:)
xiaoben might be small. but don belittle his great faith. press on Lin brothers. we're all waiting to see you guys back in church every sat. in mission fields. in cell group, in all that God had planned for you.
the family for eternity.
12:54 AM { and i opened my heart(:
Monday, September 17, 2007
we are made to yearn for love, cos God wanted us to yearn for Him. but even as God gave His love His Son His everything for us, all He wanted was our LOVE our HEART our TRUST our EVERTYHING. this amazing fact i had a hard time grasping- that He wanted to be loved by me! who would liked to hear " you were my last choice, i got no others" "you are just a substitute for someone else" "you were jus convenient" "you were just pitied by me". but yet many used these words on God. as much as it hurt us as human to hear these, how much it hurt Daddy in Heaven to hear the very ppl whom He created with His own hands. as well as He could create us, He could jolly well destroy us at a swipe of His finger. but yet He chose to love us on, beyond His tears, He loved us. did God needed ur pity? no, He wanted your love. did God needed to be your last choice, when He could had the world? no, He chose to save you when u are in the lowest. by grace He did so. did Jesus had no choice but to be binded on the cross? to suffer to bleed? no, He chose to die, so that u could live. NAILS DIDN'T KEEP JESUS ON THE CROSS. LOVE DID.
this earth is just a transition for me. my home is in Heaven with Father.
9:32 PM { and i opened my heart(:
Sunday, September 16, 2007
taken from the book [ Captivating] ..
feminity is not by a prescribed formula, nor a check box. it is not a "complete this ten things and u are a woman" kind of class. it starts with the heart. the heart of a woman is powerful and tender, fierce and alluring. don mess with it.
"we rose to the challenge working tgt, and the fact that it required all of me, that i was in it with my familt, to be surrounded by the wildness and dangers. no longer myself in me, but a valient and strong woman."
to be told when you are young and searching that "u can be anything" is not helpful. it's too vast. it gives no directions as to where to head towards. to be told when u are older tat "u can do anything a man can do" isn't helpful too. i didn't want to be a man. what does it meant to be a woman?
how can a woman of God , and be confident ,scandalous and beautiful, yet not portray herself as a feminist Nazi, or an insecure I -need-attention emotional whore. how can she become a strong woman without becoming harsh? how can she be vulnerable without drowning herself in her sorrow?
a godly woman is .. tired. we feel unseen ,even by those who are closest to us. we feel unsought, that no one has the passion or the courage to pursue us, to get past our messiness to find the woman deep inside. and we feel uncertain, uncertain what it even means to be a woman, uncertain what it truly means to be feminine, uncertain if we are or ever will be..
"Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life" - Proverbs 4:23
let all women to be the Sleeping Beauty , the Cinderella, the Snow White, the Little Mermaid, the Beauty, the Elinor, the Jo, the Murron, to be pursued by the Prince who kiss, the Prince with the glass slipper, the Prince who saves, the Prince who look beyond her tail, the Beast, the Edward, the Friedrich, the William of their life.
let no woman take the role of the man. let what is originally of God's plan, to be of what it should be.
when we are all young, we long to be precious to someone. as we grow older, that longing turns into a desire to be pursued and wanted as a woman.
do not be ashamed to yearn, to long for love. why should i be embarassed to do so? it is and still is in my very nature.
outward beauty would had been nothing; if not for the beauty of the heart inwards
all our lifes, women had been trying to pursue this beauty, that would attract many to chase and sought after, worth the effort to be fought over. but after much turmoil and tears shed in this pursuit, we gradually came to the realization of that - the beauty is to be coming from the heart, and not anywhere else.
and so .. [note to myself] as men are made to pursue , women are made to wait to be pursued. let the order not to be disrupted. let what is to be done; to be done. Daddy, guard my heart. let me wait in my chamber quietly(:
thank God for the 2 Cs, that they are not D. was expecting to fail them, cos of some reasons. but i passed! somemore is C! not D.
next semester. 3.5 GPA, here i come.
11:03 AM { and i opened my heart(:
List out your top 5 birthday presents u wish for: -family to understand -dorothy and qiaoyi to be back! -grow in God, serve Him in missions EOY. -better grades next sem -don like to request for material stuff,cos i nv knew what i wanted offhand. haha
1) The person who tagged are: siewling
2. Your relationship w them are:she's my jiejie, churchmates,bbss mates. T85 mates to be!
3. Your 5 impressions of them:- madness. talk nonstop. sensitive. ROARs with me. loving!
4. The most memorable thing they had done for you:to be there when i needed her!(:
5. The most memorable words that they have said to u:"by law of hazel, u must eat at least 2 MEALS hor"
6. If they become your lover, you will?:awesome.we are alr are.erts. lols. haha!
7. If they are your lovers, what they have to improve on: muahahahhaa.impatience!
8. If they become your enemies, you will? :cry. lols.
9. If they become your enemies, the reason is:conflicts of ideas?
10. The most desire thing you would like to do for her now is? : mug with her.work with her. protect er from evil alex. muahahahas.
11. Your overall impression of them:aint this the same as 3). hahas
12. How do you think people around u will feel about u:i dono, ask them(: i think noisy bah. im always LOL-ing. literally.
13. The character u love about yourself is: i love myself being talkative the MOST.but i love myself no matter what. muahahas
14. On the contrary, what character u hate about yourself:judgeful?
15. The most ideal person I would like to be:myself(:
16. For the people who cared & liked you say something to them:thanks.-hugs. (:
17. Pass this quiz to 10 people that u wish to know how they feel about u. nop.it gonna stop here. don wan hai ren!(: byebye!
10:43 AM { and i opened my heart(:
The Blog Keeping Rules: 1. Each blogger must post these rules first. 2. Each blogger starts with 8 random facts/habits about themselves. 3. Bloggers that are tagged need to write on their blog about their eight things and post these rules. at the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names. 4. Don't forget to leave them a comment telling them they are tagged and to read your blog.
8 facts/habits about me: 1)i can talk non stop for hours, jus provide me with water. 2)i'll faint if i run for long. 3)i can call ppl in the middle of night, and not rmbing it the next day. 4)i don like getting these quizes, cos most of my friends are my friend's friends too, and i got not much ppl else to tag, unless those uber suay one. 5)i sing to myself during work. 6)i will burst out in sharp LOLs for no reason. 7)my phone is white(that's the thing beside me, bopian) 8) this thing is ending, and im happy(:
tadas. im not gg to hai any other 8 ppl. so it shall end here. wee!(:
10:32 AM { and i opened my heart(:
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
*knocks on celia's concrete hard yet empty on the inside ,brain.* hello? how long more are you going to deny that u are not letting go? how long more are you going to pretend that u had forgotten? how long more are you going to take? tell Me, cos I'll wait no matter what.
do you think that by not telling by not talking bout it by showing ur standard i'm alright face, you are really alright? MY DEAR GIRL, I SEE YOUR HEART, NOT YOU.
COME TO ME MY DAUGHTER come to me and i promise you that your heart will be whole again no longer do you have to feel insecure. no longer do you have to hop here and there no longer do you have to feel alone no longer do you have to feel that no one cares no longer do you have to feel that you are nobody no longer do you have to feel like you are better off dead.
just come to me. I promise I'll heal you I promise I'll be here. don rely on Man! I created them. don I know them the best? don I know them better than you?
don worry for him worry over things u cant change focus my girl! focus on things that matters. things that matters for My Kingdom things that you cud actually make a difference in promise Me that you will do ur best in my work, and I'll promise you that I'll give u the best in ur life.
the best husband, the best life, the best friends, the best of everything. all that you ask in My name, I grant you. as long as you obey, you follow Me.
I'll show you my plans I'll show you the world, as long as you obey me.
and now, mr satan, if you wud leave me, cos i'm ready to do sth for my God. if not, don blame me for doing things the rough way. i used to had two friends i was best friends with both of them yet strangely, they never had met. spent my time with either of them so i was just here or there. they had one more friend yet i never want to know each day he will shake my hand yet each day i wud watch him like a show one day i dreamt that i died and went to heaven to meet God saw that friend and i tried to hide peeking down and i saw that Hell was hot God simply asked me what did you do all your life slightly ashamed but if you really want to know God, this is what i did "i hung out with these two friends their names were Yesterday and Tommorrow they had a friend that i never wanted to meet and his name was Today"
1:07 AM { and i opened my heart(:
Monday, September 10, 2007
Ephesians 4:29
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.(NIV)
29 Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.(NLT)
29Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to use in edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.(21stCKJV)
29Let no foul or polluting language, nor evil word nor unwholesome or worthless talk [ever] come out of your mouth, but only such [speech] as is good and beneficial to the spiritual progress of others, as is fitting to the need and the occasion, that it may be a blessing and give grace (God's favor) to those who hear it.(AB)
29 Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.(NKJV)
29Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers(KJV)
many versions to further point my point. unwholesome words, be gone.
9:32 PM { and i opened my heart(:
Friday, September 07, 2007
worrying about family worrying about friends worrying about work worrying about disciples worrying about relationships worrying about everything, which none was what i could change.
procrastinating about sharing tmr procrastinating about caring tmr procrastinating about company tmr procrastinating about asking tmr procratinating about changing tmr procrastinating about everything, which all were i could had done.
doubting about His love doubting about what He could do doubting about His ability to hear me doubting about His ability to care doubting about His timing doubting about His words doubting about everything, which none of them was untrue.
here i am. seventeen years of my life i wasted them on doubting worrying procrastinating when i could had done that little bit for Him but yet He loved me still. holding me in His arms saying
"you are My daughter and you are much loved by Me. I will never leave you, as long as you never leave Me. mark this promise. it's from Me to you. even if u are trampled by Man under their feets, i seen your tears through them all. and when you feel that the world had left you, they had left Me first."
all that i have i offer it to You all that i held i give it to You all my selfish wants take it all with You i'm Yours to use i'm Yours to use a stubborn clay i was now broken and ready i'm all Yours to shape. nothing in my hands could compare to You nothing that i have could match up to Yours although i do not have much still You say give Me all you have i'll run to You You are my shield my shelter and my all i'll run to You take me as You find me mould me refine me use me for Your plans
finally breaking down in front of Him i felt ashamed of thinking that i knew it all i'm going to stop saying i know i know i know and to change it into a i do i love i'm Yours.
12:43 AM { and i opened my heart(:
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
SO YOU WOULD COME
Before the world began You were on His mind And every tear you cry Is precious in His eyes Because of His great love He gave His only Son Everything was done So you would come
Nothing you can do Could make Him love you more And nothing that you've done Could make Him close the door Because of His great love He gave His only Son Everything was done So you would come
Come to the Father Though your gift is small Broken hearts, broken lives He will take them all The power of the Word The power of His blood Everything was done So you would come
i rarely put songs in my blog, unless they impacted me alot. and here's one(:
9:35 PM { and i opened my heart(:
i was so tired during work today, towards the end. a new trainee manager came and we roll - called cos of him. i am to guide him for the day. he's tall. he's from NP too. he's from BS too. he's 19. he's cheng yeow. lol. really been ran ragged. lunch hour was again warzone.. and towards the end, i even serve a customer like this: *holding to a cup of latte* sir, your orange juice. ERTS. embarassing!!
i need just that little social life..
7:08 PM { and i opened my heart(:
Step By Step He does not lead me year by year Nor even day by day. But step by step my path unfolds; My Lord directs my way.
Tomorrow’s paths, I do not know. I only know this minute: But He will say, “This is the way.By faith now walk ye in it.”
And I am glad that it is so. Today’s enough to bear; And when tomorrow comes, His grace Shall far exceed its care.
What need to worry then, or fret? The God who gave His Son Holds all my moments in His hand And gives them, one by one
-living in today. that's my prayer. tommorrow has it's own problems. i shall not overburden myself.
Jim Died Today! "Around the corner I have a friend In this great city that has no end; Yet days go by, and weeks rush on, And before I know it a year has gone.
And I never see my old friends face, For life is a swift and terrible race. He knows I like him just as well As in the days I rang his bell,And he rang mine. We were younger then,
And now we're busy, tired men; Tired with playing a foolish game, Tired with trying to make a name. 'Tomorrow,' I say, I'll call on Jim, Just to show that I'm thinking of him.
'But tomorrow comes, and tomorrow goes, And the distance between us grows and grows. Around the corner -- and yet miles away... 'Here's a telegram, sir... Jim died today.'
And that's what we get, and deserve in the end -- Around the corner, a vanished friend.
-a poem dat i did in sec 4 literature class. dug it all out cos pastor mentioned it last sat. pondered over it. and decided that my friends deserved more. they deserve to hear bout God.
Through It All! "I've had many tears and sorrows; I've had questions for tomorrow; There have been times I didn't know right from wrong;
But in every situation God gave blessed consolation That my trials come to only make me strong. I thank God for the mountains, I thank Him for the valleys; I thank Him for the storms He brought me through;
For if I'd never had a problem, I wouldn't know that He could solve them, I'd never know what faith in God could do. Through it all, through it all Oh, I've learned to trust in Jesus ,I've learned to trust in God. Through it all. Through it all. Oh, I've learned to depend upon His Word."
-in times of problems, don whine and blame God for putting u thru them. without knowing how hard things can get, u nv know how good our God can be.
12:16 AM { and i opened my heart(:
Monday, September 03, 2007
i can go mission trip ler. weee(:
Money will not stop me from gg Money will not stop me from saying I WANT YOU DADDY, I NEED YOU. *hold Money by the neck* YOU HAVE NO HOLD OVER ME *kicks it away*
to my old friends new friends will not take ur places one don worry. heeeeeee(x
words may hurt me those words coming from you would hurt me even more but i choose to smile under all these words cos Daddy comforts me. don DON come to my funeral please.
12:48 AM { and i opened my heart(:
Saturday, September 01, 2007
since young, i will always cry when i don get the things i want/need. no, im not a spolit brat. it's not when things don go MY WAY, that i am upset. it is when things i really wanted is NOT GIVEN to me. and when my mum said no, there went the childhood me. not in front of her of cos. what's wrong with thailand. can anybody tell me?
9:30 AM { and i opened my heart(:
i got some prayer requests. so for that little amount of people who do come to my blog, please help by praying for me(: thank you thank you.
1) my back hurts. i dono why. ( no, i don wan see doctor) 2) i wanna go MT.
money [CLEARED]
school [WILL BE ABLE TO BE CLEARED]
parents[MUM SAYS NO.] for reason, please ask me urself. cant say on blog.
3) work conflict. many ppl are quiting. nid the job for MT funds and for survival basically. so.. haha.. i nd patience? and.. peace. =/
thanks people.
loves(:
2:10 AM { and i opened my heart(:
went back to school today! but as if VP only. erts. at least i got to see OWYANG JINGYI and some other people who i had not seen for ages. i rmb zhiqi, she waved from 2nd flr. wahahhas.
went out with sab sl ongnei weekiat. first to sab's future workplace. i shall not comment on how we got there. it was an awesome long walk. that's all. haha. dampsey dome. ):
xiaofang treat me ice chocolate. lols. go diff branches, got treated diff drinks. not bad. worth the climb!(: sl went off for followup soon after and we went back with her.
went for food went for talks went for drinks. went for talks agn. had fun. it's awesomely strange how we 4 can mix around so well. loves loves(:
im sorry elin. come back please. kent can be sacked for all we care. weeee(:
