He died for me ; i'm living for Him

Friday, August 31, 2007

worked for 3 days.
the varieties of words used there.
really tempted me to take out my 05/06 "dictionary"
oh well.
i will not.
i WILL NOT be influenced by my surrounding.
kent BLAH me, elin and prabu help me BLAH him back.
awesome two of them.
loves(:

im learning sf alr.
yes, believe it.

was really upset over sth today,
sorry to all who talked to me and got the
oh hah ya
kind of answers.
and special thanks to ongnei.
althou u are stil an ONGNOOB.
lols(:

"if you would just trust Me, I will grant you all things."
Daddy dui wo shuo(:

3:07 AM { and i opened my heart(:

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

working.
prabu say he's proud of me.
cos i so long never work ler,
stil can remember everything!
he don even have to teach me.
wahahas.
pregnant customers are ultra picky and fussy and impatient and SHOUT-y.
table 33. HOIHOI!(:
2 people are quitting becos of HER.
piang eh

i went to work alone.
went to eat alone.
walked alone
went to suntec alone
went home alone.

teckwhyelane. do you know that yoo are missed?
lol-ed.

Imagine Me Without You
Jaci Velasquez
As long as stars shine down from heaven
And the rivers run into the sea
'Til the end of time, forever
You're the only love I'll need
In my life, you're all that matters
In my eyes, the only truth I see
When my hopes and dreams have shattered
You're the one that's there for me
When I found you I was blessed
And I will never leave you
I need you

Chorus:
Imagine me without you
I'd be lost and so confused
I wouldn't last a day
I'd be afraid without you there to see me through
Imagine me without you
Lord, you know it's just impossible
Because of you
It's all brand new
My life is now worth while
I can't imagine me without you

When you caught me I was falling
Your love lifted me back on my feet
It was like you heard my calling
And you rushed to set me free
When I found you I was blessed
And I will never leave you
I need you

9:25 PM { and i opened my heart(:

Monday, August 27, 2007

three loves of my life(:

Human failed me, but God did not and will never do.
Human disappointed me, but God did not and will never do.
Human turned their back against me, but God did not and will never do.
Human pangsehed me, but God did not and will never do.
Human judged me, but God did not and will never do.
Human treated me like grass, but God did not and will never do.
He held me precious in His hands,
showing me what are the real loves of my life that i shud focus on.
i want the best for my cell grp
i want the best for my ministry
i want the best for rowena
i want the best for everybody i loved , love , am loving(:

went out today with ongnei , sab, ken.
i reached at 10 larhh!!!
peng piang pheng~
and. tadas! they reached at 1215.
someone say that is very late.
i looked totally like a noob walking around,
since shops in bugis don open so early too!
but nehmind.
anw.we walked ard. and left for ps after ongnei bought his gou lian~
and at ps, ken blessed us with icecreams! heeeeeee(x
watched blood brothers.
oh man. it totally sian diao-ed me.
blood blood blood.
oh well. i shud had expected it.
BLOOD brothers, what can i expect?
haha!
was a fun day out with them.
tmr i shall work! YES!
(:

9:48 PM { and i opened my heart(:

Friday, August 24, 2007

i learnt plucking today.
had fun chilling with lp.
and yes, we on-ed aircon.
it was chill-ed enuf(:

went to meet ade today for discussion
it was more of huai-jiu-ing lor.
we sidetrack til super ultra jialat.
heeeeeee
and she dono how to cut bread!
OPPS. your secret is out. (x
photos to be up.. when she comes online and sends me.
hee.

went to popular to jalan jalan, plus to
be aunty according to ade.
aunty-ed ard and then went to the boooks!
some titles that caught my eyes and i really wanna read them
disciplines of a Godly woman
the power of a praying woman[heard from someone before that it's good]
every young woman's battle
kissing dating goodbye[as introduced by ong]

read their summary at the back of them.
sounds good.
til then..(:

some expired photos,
recently i found them in my lappie while clearing out sth else.

the act cute de qiaoyi

the bei tou pai de me

the kena bullied by xueli de me

the hen dao de we all 4

the zi lian de me and ade

im starting work next tues.
looking forward.
garyyyyyyy.
erts(:

11:18 PM { and i opened my heart(:

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Why
Nicole Nordeman

We rode into town the other day
Just me and my daddy
He said I'd finally reached that age
And I could ride next to him on a horse
That of course was not quite as wide

We heard a crowd of people shouting
And so we stopped to find out why
And there was that man that my dad said he loved
But today there was fear in his eyes

So I said daddy why are they screaming
Why are the faces of some of them beaming?
Why is he dressed in that bright purple robe?
I'll bet that crown hurts him more then he shows
Daddy please can't you do something?
He looks as though he's gonna cry
You said he was stronger then all of those guys
Daddy please tell me why?
Why does everyone want him to die?

Later that day the sky grew cloudy
And daddy said I should go inside
Somehow he knew things would get stormy
Boy was he right
But I could not keep from wondering
If there was something he had to hide
So after he left I had to find out
I was not afraid of getting lost
So I followed the crowds
To a hill where I knew men had been killed
And I heard a voice come from the cross

And it said father why are they screaming?
Why are the faces of some of them beaming?
Why are they casting their lots for my clothes?
This crown of thorns hurts me more then it shows
Father please can't you do something?
I know that you must hear my cry's
I thought I could handle a cross of this size
Father remind me why?
Why does everyone want me to die?
When will I understand why?

My precious son
I hear them screaming
I'm watching the face of the enemy beaming
But soon I will clothe you in robes of my own
Jesus this hurts me much more then you know
But this dark hourI must do nothing
Though I've heard your unbearable cries
The power in your blood
Destroys all of the lies
Soon you'll see past their unmerciful lies
Look there below
See the child
Trembling by her father's side
Now I can tell you why
She is why you must die

as i listen to this song,
tears and everything came along.
overwhelmed by His grace and mercy.

10:30 PM { and i opened my heart(:

it was those times
that i was fourth from the front
that you insisted that you are
that zero point five centimetre
taller than me and so
you became fifth.

it was those times
that i was bullied by them
that you insisted that you are
in this as much as i am
and so we had an it between us
the egg.

it was those times
that i brought my phone to school and you didnt
that you chased me around wanting to borrow it
to call your mother, and so
we ran til the stairs
by the hall.

it was those times
that i went to school to buy
all that we need for sec 1 and u came along too.
the wrong queue that you lined in.
the telling of uniform aunty
"4 of the same"..

it was those times
that i introduced u to the best fren u had now
at the concourse.
near our locker 197
i remembered you were shy
but i laughed it away for you.

it was those times
that i always ran into ur class
so oftenly that ppl mistook it
all the
"i forget bring locker keys"..
and the mad rush to snatch the keys!

it was those times
the taxi stands..
the waiting of the car..
the
"sorry, late again"
the fight that we had over this

it was those times
where we disagreed
and we quarrelled over your bad choices
you insisted on ur way
and i ended up holding back my
"i told you so"

it was those times
that we cud fight over
mac vs ljs
nugget vs fillet
you always ended up winning
wonder why.

it was those times
the times over nine years.
the friendship i held dearly to
there might be times we fought
but somehow we stood by one another thru
will it still be the same now?

and also cos of this love for you,
my dear friend, my dear sister.
i really want to see you back in church.
not to be another +1 to the number of members we have..
but as a child of God, to see you coming back to Daddy's arm.
you urself tasted His love before.
it was so good.
how can you bear to give It away?
i miss you (x
so do Daddy.
it doesn't matter how many times you failed Him..
what matter is that you are willing to come back to Him.
He will jus sweep you up in His arms,
no questions asked.
no scoldings given.
Daddy is waiting.
will you?

12:13 AM { and i opened my heart(:

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

finished clearing. i spent my aftnn jus like that.
awesome.

the pic on the left is a postcard lishan wrote to me in 2004.
the one on the right, is the game that she played with us during bs.
using newspaper cuttings.
forming verses.
aww.

i love lishan(:
it is til now , that i know that what u did was for my good.
although i stil don agree with ur ways.
but i still love u the same(:

the top 3 are the phamplet that we get every sat.
2005,2006,2007.
the btm 3, first from left
brigade ministry update 2005(GB)
in the centre,
a chalet invitation card. we sec3 planned it. 2005.
first from the right,
bigade ministry update 2005(BB)

the pin
national drill competition 2004(regional)
pink cloth.
rtc 06 group.
wire
it is supposed to reflect "cecilia".
BUT UNFORTUNATELY.
i dono how to kp things properly one):
from someone in rowl, 2004.

a photo that i found . me and dorothy, 2005.
i miss you
will you be back?

some stamp book, which is supposed to depict the bible.
quite cute. many stories inside.

and this is the amt of rubbish im gg to sell to karung guni man tmr.
wooohoo.

sth jus tramuatised me.
hah, siewling you know(:
awesome?
heeh

5:13 PM { and i opened my heart(:

and this is one of the shirts i bought ytd.
little miss late
siewling insisted that it is just so ME.
hoi! hahahhas.

and then.. today.
was packing my room
[ and yes, people who know me enuf, please exclaim]
torture. pure torture.
now i understand why they say girls got alot of things.
yes, i do.
and i found some lsot stuff
that i was very sad over their loss

and they are..

some cert to say tat im offically out of bbss.
my conduct is VERY GOOD!(:

the result slip
results: undisclosed(:

the envelope thingy that they put the result slip in.

my ttmn. some amusing sentences
:she is diplomatic( i dono what it means, and don wish to know. haha)
:self motivated and works well under stress.(next time my boss see le, put extra stress on me.lol)
:adapts well to changing circumstances(so im a chameleon? heee)
:enjoys honing her skills in mathematics(that's true)
:she attained the rank of staff sergeant in 2006(this is not amusing, it's a nice fact*beams*)
:practical, hands-on person and her preparedness to take the polytechnic route(haha, she fixed my "destination" alr)

wheeee. im so happy i found them.
hee.

2:45 PM { and i opened my heart(:

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

I ENDED MY EXAMS
MY FIRST END SEM EXAMS
IN MY POLY LIFE
HEEEEEEEEE (x
some replies to tag. lazy to type in the tagboard.
mk: im not THAT lazy laaaa. jus that i like to nua here and there.
by the time i get ready to do sth, no time alr!(:
julia: urs i oso sometimes cant lor. hahas.fair la(:

yz: I ENDED PAPER ALR. WOOOHOOOOOO. ci ji ni!(:

lp: of cos. my angel ma. hahahhas. but he made me feel like i lived on sua teng la. hahaa

alvin: paa!!! faster come back larr! i wan my bike trip one. haha!(:

mk: stil got FIAT! u know u know! heeee

okay. back to normal stuff.

me and siewling went shopping today!

shall display them all other day.

my phone is throwing a tantrum like usual.

hohoo.

hais. it's fixed.

cant say im not disappointed.

but i understand the rational..

so yupp.

all is fine(:

9:22 PM { and i opened my heart(:

Monday, August 20, 2007

i was late for paper today again.
well.almost la.
and i dono how to go CC level2!
and im late. oh man):
so at the bus stop, i prayed.
God, send me an angel to guide me can?
please~ thank you!
in Jesus' name
amen!

den as i walked. i saw a guy holding on to macro notes.
(i having macro exams)
so i figured he is gg to the same place as me
and true! he walked to cc.
den cc got left and right. to lvl 1 or 2 de.
den i was hoping he turn right, cos mine is there.
and he did.
and then me being a sua ku who is in NP for almost half a year,
dono that there is a lift in CC,
looked ard for ways to go up to lvl2.
and then the lift came
and the guy aka my "angel" waved me over to join him at the lift.
goodness. ultimate sua ku.
heeeeee.
cut the story short,
i found my seat and i started to do my exam.
anw, jus wanna thank God for answering my prayer, and sending me an angel!(:

hooooooho! tmr last paper.
gg out with siewling le!!!
it shall be a walk talk eat walk talk talk day agn.
YAY(:

not everyone listens to sob stories, i understand(:
everything shall revert to secondary3(:
ceterus paribus(:
fiat(:

oh ya, i found out a freaky connection between me and valentine days.
goodness):

11:58 PM { and i opened my heart(:

Sunday, August 19, 2007

my father packed my room again tmr.
not that i hate it.
i don mind a clean room for once
but then. whenever he pack my room.
he will throw things that is useless in his eyes.
i found my Jesus Freak book on the ground beside my rubbish bin
althou i jus placed it on my side table.
and he threw it.
and now i cant find my macro notes..
cos i leave it on my side table again.
according to my father, the side table cant contain anything one.
and i cant find my notes.
and i cant ask him where it is.
he will not rmb and he will scold me in order to get out of his embarrasment of not rmbing where he keep it for me.
i shall rely on my online notes.
but anw.
thank You Daddy. u blessed me with a neat father. who packs my room for me cos he knows im a lazy fella. heeeee (x

9:53 PM { and i opened my heart(:

the light blue words exactly expressed what i want to say to God.

Through the Years
Kenny Rogers

I can't remember when you weren't there
When I didn't care for anyone but you
I swear we've been through everything there is
Can't imagine anything we've missed
Can't imagine anything the two of us can't do

Through the years, you've never let me down
You turned my life around
The sweetest days I've found
I've found with you
Through the years, I've never been afraid
I've loved the life we've made
And I'm so glad I've stayed right here with you
Through the years

I can't remember what I used to do
Who I trusted, who I listened to before
I swear you taught me everything I know
Can't imagine needing someone so
But through the years it seems to me
I need you more and more

Through the years, through all the good and bad
I knew how much we had
I've always been so glad to be with you
Through the years, it's better every day
You've kissed my tears away
As long as it's okay, I'll stay with you
Through the years

Through the years, when everything went wrong
Together we were strong, I know that I belong right here with you
Through the years
I never had a doubt, we'd always work things out
I've learned what love's about by loving you
Through the years

Through the years, you've never let me down
You've turned my life around
The sweetest days I've found
I've found with you
Through the years, it's better every day
You've kissed my tears away
As long as it's okay, I'll stay with you
Through the years!

as i reflect thru the years, as i look thru my email box, as i look thru old files.. as i read my spiritual journal. i see a change of myself from the past til now.

i learnt to know that the world is not all about CELIA'S LAW OF CONDUCT and CELIA'S WAY, THE ONLY WAY.
i learnt that, in order to be highly worthed by God, i first have to be low in the eyes of Man.
i learnt that vulgarities don not help in anything, except spoiling other's ears.
i learnt that violence is not the answer.
i learnt that what i may know is right, is not right. and what i did not know existed, was the only true one.
i learnt the true meaning of obeying, in God's eyes. after 3 years.
i learnt the true meaning of submitting and giving my heart to God, after 3 years.
i learnt not to pursue worldly love, but to run after the love that God had prepared for me, after 3 years.
i learnt that bad things are allowed to happen to me, not cos God don love me. but it is precisely becos He loved me alot, that's why He chose to let me fall down.

i would always ask WHY.
and He would say one day, you'll get it.
and i would say. i don wan one day. i wan today.
and He will jus keep quiet.
til that day that He chose to reveal the reason to me
and made me hopelessly guilty.
for my atrocious attitude to Him.

over the 3 years.
i've learnt to change my attitude towards Man.
how do i treat them, how do i talk to them.
but i never thought that my attitude towards God was equally bad.
i strived to please Man.
i strived to get approval of people around me.
i pushed myself against my own limits,
not to do God's business,
but to prove my own worth.
to let others stand in awe of me.
i did all the right things, in the eyes of Man.
all were right.
all seems so correct.
but yet they were done with the wrong purpose.
i had a purpose in life.
but it was a wrong purpose.
it was to please Man.
this, i had failed God hopelessly.

refusing to heed His words, i went out to the world and had myself thrashed around
feeling worthless and lowly, it almost seemed that i had crawled back to ask for Daddy's forgiveness.
not once, not twice.
but thrice.
each and every time, He wipes my tears away and said to me
"hush, Daddy is here with you.
I will never leave you, as long as u never leave Me."

becos of this promise of His, to never let me go.
i had the confidence to ask of Him.
i asked for strength, when i needed it.
i asked for wisdom , when i had exams.
i asked for courage, when i was afraid.
i asked for everything, and He gave me all that i needed.

but it is also becos of this promise of His.
it made me take it for granted.
i took His love for me for granted.
like a trash, i trampled it under my feet.
tossing it carelessly around,
never looking back to see the tears in Him
i swing it around,
i twirl it around my finger.
forgetting all bout it when sth else more fun comes by.
like a father who hits the daughter on the hand when he sees her playing fire,
Daddy smack my hand too.
but yet i chose to ignore.
i chose to say that i know what am i doing.
running with the pace of the world.
things beginning to look blur by the sides
and i began to feel afraid.
finally letting in the emengency flashlight in my head that
i am out of control of my life.

crying for Daddy's help,
i almost thought He wud give up on me.
i thought i was degraded and worthless in His eyes.
but yet,
like a father who rescue his daughter from a fire that she created,
Daddy scooped me up in His great arms and said
"hush, Daddy is with you.
I will never leave you, as long as you never leave Me"
not a single star deducted from the ratings,
not a sign of disdainment in the eyes of Him.
i knew, i was still precious in His eyes.

and now.
after all the trials
after all the dramas
after all the heartbreaks
after all the troubles.
im back with Daddy.
this time with a will of determination.
an undescribable peace in me.
a heart convicted of His love for me.
a pair of hands and feets ready for His use.
im confident to say that i've changed.
all becos Daddy moulded me over the years.
the heartbreaks that He let me go through.
though i teared much, im sure Daddy hurted as much as i did,
as He sees me thru it.

even as Daddy is celebrating my 3rd birthday this year.
i want it to be a memorable one.
i want it to be Daddy's day, as much as it is mine.

12:35 AM { and i opened my heart(:

Saturday, August 18, 2007

i wanna give thanks to God for whatever that happened ytd!
i have a law exam at 9am.
and i slept til 8..
when my brother starting calling my hp like mad. 14 times.
asking me to close his windows for him, cos he forget to close.
and when i closed it, i turn to see the clock, and it is 8!?
crap siah. im supposed to be in hall by 830.
this is the first thing i wanna thank God for.
cos my brother never ever fail to close his windows when he goes out!
and that day he did?
wow.
second thing.
i love my mother laaaaa
she hates to drive in the rain.
cos she scared.
but she hero-ly offered to send me to school, cos im late alr.
[ it was pouring. cats and dogs and cheetahs and all]
thank God for a mother like her.
althou she nags.
althou she scolds.
althou she don understand my love for Christ.
but i really do hope one day she will come to know Him.
and then we will rejoice tgt as a family.

10:46 PM { and i opened my heart(:

Thursday, August 16, 2007

i bought this to make myself smile.

and i did smile.

heee.

it's supposed to.

it's high on caffaine.

10:45 PM { and i opened my heart(:

thank You Daddy for the double blessings that You showered on me(:
and so as i was praying and asking God..
this song came to me.
check it out(:

HIS LOVE IS WARMER
Once I thought that love was meant for anyone else but me.
Once I thought that none knew the way.
Now that only goes to show, how wrong we all can be,
'cause now it seems,he loves me more each day.

His love is warmer than the warmest sunshine,
softer than a sigh.
His love is deeper than the deepest ocean,
wider than the sky.
His love is brighter than the brightest star,
that shines every night above,
and there is nothing in this world than can ever change his love

Something happend to my heart the day I met him.
Something that I never felt before.
And that something is that he has buried my sins,
and every day it seems, he loves me more.

People always talk of love, but never seem to feel;
they taste the world and say that things are fine.
But deep think much runs a thought that it is not real,
and they will realize in time.

so true. hee(x

anw!being the sister of my brother.
i shall advertise his company for him here.
simply said:
IT Services, web design, hosting maintenance, hardware? Call me please!
tadas. if you all know of ppl who wants, oso can contact me.
if not, den jus enjoy the song lyrics up there.

heeeee (x

11:16 AM { and i opened my heart(:

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

met siewling and weiwei to mug at buddy at1.
til pm at 430.
after pm went to mug with mk they all.
til 10, go home.
im turning into a mugging machine.(:

a song written by michelle joy
a very nice song
that speak straight to me(:

-THE ONLY ONE-
Have you ever sought the Lord,
Have you kept your heart still.
Have you ever listened to
that little voice that spoke His will.
Does all that's within your heart
seeks to worship Him alone.
Is it all that thirst in you
make more of Him your own.
On our knees we pray,
that Father you would,
you would open the way.
To Your splendour,Your grace.
Father Father,show us Your face.
Your glory,Your beauty.
Surpassed by no one,
You're the only one,
You're the only one

religiously present.
are you?
every sat going to church.
every sun going to bible study
every wed going to prayer mtg.
are you jus there for
*my cgl ask me to go..*
*go alr, will show godly i am..*
*my friends are gg, den we can go shopping afterwards..*
are u having these mentalities when u go?

Mattthew 6:1

"Be careful not to do your acts of righteousness before men, to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven."

are you doing it for man or for God?
if all your cell mates and friends are not gg for prayer mtg,
will you still go for God?

when you sing. do u focus on God alone?
or do you
*oh God i love.... You.... *
in the meanwhile thinking..
*after this i wan go eat mac..*
*eat fish de.. nice ehh..*
with this mixture.
what will ur train of thoughts be?
most likely..
*oh God i love fish..*
like what are you meaning?!

get serious with Him.
stop fooling.
let it just be
oh God i love you.
period.

11:12 PM { and i opened my heart(:

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

im tired.pictures shall speak today.

firstly i went to

den i went to

to study

and sl proclaimed her love 4 me

and surely

she wants me to profess my love for her too

we love each other

and randomly enuf,
i love my family and ah ma too.

my room is in a mess.
a sty that even a pig refuse to live in,
according to my mum.
i nd some clearing up.
crap (x

10:42 PM { and i opened my heart(:

stabbers.
you are getting your wish.
say yay.

1:28 AM { and i opened my heart(:

Monday, August 13, 2007

cant imagine why ppl can write such emo songs. like.

动力火车

知道你不是真的爱我

词曲:尤秋兴

从你渐渐地沉默
发现你想要离开我
慢慢消失的温柔
谁能够承受为你
伤悲为你泪流
日子不好过又如何
还有什么可以保留
什么都没有喔~~
知道你不是真的爱我喔~~

最爱的时后你却要走
多苦我都会承受
最怕你什么都不说
几个伤口几次痛
谁付出较多
为你伤悲为你泪流
日子不好过又如何
还有什么可以保留
什么都没有喔~~

知道你不是真的爱我喔~~
最爱的时候你却要走喔~~
知道你不会永远爱我喔~~

我来的时候你已远走
怪我自己纵容你太自由
爱情里失守却不能多说
对我来说这结果太刺痛
你真的要走我还能说什么

den so if u know the guy wan to leave alr.den u stil get so upset and emotional over him for what? as if he cares?
guard ur hearts girls.
guard it well
and Daddy will give u the best of all(:

11:47 PM { and i opened my heart(:

i love mugmug sessions(:
just mugged with angeline and von at wm bk.
long time since i ever talked to angeline. hohoo.
voooooooooooooon! rmb bout the thing that u saw in my firstSTEP book that u borrowed from me that time okay. the 3 names, and now it's down to one. haha!(:

went home relatively early.
and i tried out the 177 bus.
never taken it before.only knew it went to bp.
it was so fast. FASTER den normal 187 or 176.
bad part is that it is only for a specific timing. so must catch the timing.
and then i went to the lib. since i wanna find some books.

walking to the OPAC thingy. one thing caught my eye.
the word "SINGLE".
curious me went to click SEARCH on that keyword.
and i scrolled..
and scrolled..
and scrolled.
the amazing fact is the titles like
"how to ditch single"
"101guide to being NOT single"
"the idiot guide to getting a boyfriend"
"single no more!"
and the list goes on.
and thus i realise this is how the world views singlehood.
as something that is to be avoided at all costs, once u hit the age of dread-able 15.
to be without a boyfriend by 15, or even worse, not to be even in a r/s til then,
it is like commiting some murderous crime.
when the fact is that.
you just want to enjoy your singlehood. and not let some man who runs past you spoil your single status and spin u all around, to wake u up in an empty dream.
and the fact is that.
even as i enter poly. the first thing that ppl look out or ask would be
"do you have a boyfriend?"
or whenever a msg or call from a guy-friend comes, wolfs mysteriously begin to appear and whistles blow.

i remember one encounter.
one of my classmate casually drop this question
"so where do you all and your boyfriend go for dates ar?"
[ note. it was a straight assumption that we all had boyfriends]
and as they giggled and ooohhh and ahhh over the various hotspots, so to say,
i turned on the fountains on them by dropping an equally casual statement
"huh, boyfriend? no la, i don have"
suddenly. all eyes were on me. all jaws on the ground.
"you mean you don have a boyfriend? like. like WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?"
or weird qn to fill up the blanks like
" oh.. . oh.. . .. .. oh.. but.. oh... but.. u had one before right?!"
and up til now. i had enough of the world's view of "NO BOYFRIEND, NO LIFE".

now. here for some Daddy's view of "NO GOD , NO LIFE"

Song of Songs 3:5
Oh, let me warn you, sisters in Jerusalem, by the gazelles, yes, by all the wild deer: Don't excite love, don't stir it up, until the time is ripe—and you're ready.

no explaination needed, right?
God's timing. wait for it.
clear cut.

Ecclesiastes 12:1
1 Remember your Creator
in the days of your youth,
before the days of trouble come
and the years approach when you will say,
"I find no pleasure in them"-

Jeremiah 22:21
I warned you when you felt secure, but you said, 'I will not listen!' This has been your way from your youth; you have not obeyed me.

and so everything begins from youth.
it's the most impt period of our life.
our youth.
use it or waste it.
ur choice.

2 Timothy 2:22
Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.

don deny.
all youths have some sort of evil desires.
what differs is the way that we deal with it.
will you go with it.
or go with God?

2 Corinthians 4:18
So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

what is seen now?
relationship.
bgr.
premarital sex.
that's what is seen in the world now.
temporal thrills.
oh whatever.

Romans 12:2
Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

pattern of the world.
the jaw-drop, eye-bulge face
to the one who choose to be single.
point taken.

will we conform?
or will we stand for what we believe?
there is nothing wrong with singlehood.
and so. FIAT(:

7:31 PM { and i opened my heart(:

Saturday, August 11, 2007

oh and i just wanna thank God for each and every cellmate i have in ACTS 4.1.
edward
yvonne
rowena
ann
clara
mag
ziya
dorothy
shenhan
junhong
alfone
kendrick
leon
qizhi
mingyang
koonzheng
and more to come. YES!

all of you all are a special blessing to me somehow or rather.
thank God for all of you(:

1:05 AM { and i opened my heart(:

cleared it all.

when things seems overwhelming and you dono where u are. u jus felt like u are stuck in some ever spinning bottle. take a step out, look into ur own life. you may nd some spring cleaning in ur life.(:

a certain breaking free
an undefine-able joy in me

that's the great awakening.
the shake that shoke me up.
the jolt that jolted me out.

and now it is all back with Daddy again.

it's only when u feel peace within u and u cant explain why u have that peace in you.
that is when u are doing the right thing.
a sentence which a person told me before.
and it's stuck with me since then
really true.

and now i have the joy in my heart.
i got the peace that passes understanding down in my heart(:
WHERE?
down in my heart to stay (x

12:57 AM { and i opened my heart(:

Friday, August 10, 2007

ABOVE ALL

Above all powers above all kings
Above all nature and all created things
Above all wisdom and all the ways of man
You were here before the world began
Above all kingdoms above all thrones
Above all wonders the world has ever known
Above all wealth and treasures of the earth
There's no way to measure what You're worth

Crucified laid behind the stone
You lived to die rejected and alone
Like a Rose trampled on the ground
You took the fall and thought of me
Above all

Above all powers above all kings
Above all nature and all created things
Above all wisdom and all the ways of man
You were here before the world began

Crucified
Laid behind the stone
You lived to die
Rejected and alone
Like a rose
Trampled on the ground
You took the fall
And thought of me
Above all
Above all

Crucified laid behind the stone
You lived to die rejected and alone
Like a Rose trampled on the ground
You took the fall and thought of me
Above all
And thought of me
Above all
Like a Rose trampled on the ground
You took the fall and thought of me
Above all

had you ever felt rejected and alone?
fret not.
Jesus went thru it too.
while dying for you and me
this national day.
even as it had jus passed.
rmb what where u came from.
where this nation came from
it came from Him.

the largest failure in life is not to fail.
it is not knowing
where u come from
why u are here
and where are you heading to.
that. is failing.
miserably.and utterly.

think bout it.
mulls(x

1:39 AM { and i opened my heart(:

boring national day. but it was unbored by the stupid acts of me yz and mk(:

the people who are with me this NATIONAL DAY!(: look at the constrast of cleanliness of plates. *ashamed* heh(:

the dishes. there was one more. the you tiao thingy. i forget why i never take a snap of it alr. and the chilli. that made mk so HOT. hoho.

and finally the bill. the top is covered cos it was dirtied by yours truly. (x

afterwards we went on to yz hse for session of roller blading cum cycling.

and after one year of not roller blading. im doing it agn.

ending up with injuries as shown above.

hehe (x

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE.
YOU ARE FORTY TWO(x

12:42 AM { and i opened my heart(:

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

don you all find it amusing to see ppl fretting over things that they cant control?
this way they fret.
that way they fret.
either way, they ain't happy.
when you see him in school,
you hope he flunk his modules and transfer school
but when he is really transfering
u wreck ur brain trying to talk him out of transfering.
when he walk past you in school and u sees him in that tshirt that u bought him
all you want to do is to pull that shirt off him and say he don deserve to wear it
but somewhere in the back of ur mind,
you are smiling to yourself
saying HEY, HE'S STILL WEARING IT.
and then thoughts began to come..
does he stil like me?
or not, why stil wear the shirt i bought?
nono, don think so much..
he jus happen to like the shirt.. not the giver..
but..
all you use up all ur brain cells trying to figure out why is he wearing that shirt.
wearing the ring he gave you.
knowing that it will bring you pain.
yet u stil want to wear it
cos somewhere in the back of ur mind,
you wants to keep a part of him near you.
listening to the songs he used to sing to you.
enjoying the tears flowing out of you.
jus to feel that same feelings as that time.
typing in his msn convo, ready to send
jus to chicken out at the last min.
jus cos u are afraid of losing face. thinking..
if i talk to him first, i lose alr!
but. come to think about it.
what is face and pride when it comes to the person whom u love?
wun you lay ur pride down in front of the person?
or will u still wear the mask?
*muses*
well. overall. althou im a girl myself.
i do admit
girls are dumb.
weeh (x

10:12 PM { and i opened my heart(:

the will to seek is lost
the will to go is gone
the will to ask is forsaken
giving up is such an easy option

no no'more
of this finger pointing
i don't want to do this anymore.

i don't want to break Your heart anymore
times and again You forgave me
yet i threw it all away times and again
i don't want to do this anymore
i want to love You
i want to love You

i am coming back to You
i am coming back to You
cos i am Yours.

giving up is such an easy option isnt it?
got prob, give up
cant do it, give up.
everything ppl will think of giving up.
why!
den if the guy (whatever his name is) who invented light bulb, gave up
den we will stil be using candles now.
den if the person(im supposed to rmb his name) who invented money, gave up
den we will still be trading an apple for 2 oranges kind of thing.
what u had not gave up today, might become sth of great worth
mayb not in monetary, but surely of great worth to someone.
u might be a person to the world.
but u might be the world to someone
never brush someone aside so anyhow-ly.
don.

11:32 AM { and i opened my heart(:

Monday, August 06, 2007

God You are the God who reign
through the trials and pains
still You remain pure.
and even when i fail
God You are the God who holds me close

sick and tired of this cycle
God i don't want to keep coming back
saying the same old prayer

"God forgive me as i fail You again
I need You. i want You.
it's Your will i'll seek
cos there is no longer me"

unloved no more
i am secured in Your love
unseen no more
Your love is for all to see
forsaken no more abandoned no more

this prayer i pray.
in Your name
i use in vain no more.
amen.

God is true all the time.
i cant deny that i know this wonderful Savior of my life.
cos He is jus so true and real in my life.
everyday He's there.
thru my failures and joy,
He is there.
He smiles when i smile
He hurts when im hurt.
He see my tears when i cried
quietly He tugs at me, telling me that He is there for me.
i brushed it off, obsessed with myself.
but yet, when i finally wake up from it.
He is still there holding out the tissue that He had been holding since then.
"there you go. tissue provided, shoulder free for comfort"
sorry Daddy. i never cud know how much You gave.
in every bad situation i am in, He is always there to give me a pat on the shoulder and whisper that" hush, don worry, im here".
every nightmare i wake up from, i know He's there to calm me.
when i am noisy, He smiles.
when i am down, He comforts.
when i am so alone , He's there
everyday is a new day. cos He says that today will be a good day, cos He is with me
He is the only true 24/7 , 365/year kind of friend.
no needs for phone, no needs for language
all you need is your heart.
His is ever ready there, stand by mode to connect.
will you turn on your ON button?

one more thing.(credit to sandy yeo)
i will be your tree, i will protect u from the storm
even when you bite me, i will stil shield you.
to my ant(:

11:34 PM { and i opened my heart(: